What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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