I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
