By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
