shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
