Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
