I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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