Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize