she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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