well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
