apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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