If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
