do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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