Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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