marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
