first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is wine microwaveable?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My life is pants optional.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
