I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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