After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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