My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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