We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
