sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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