I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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