At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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