I skipped work to stalk him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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