He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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