This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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