You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
where does the pee come out of this thing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
