tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
