I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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