so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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