Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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