i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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