im so drunk with asians
where?
always
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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