the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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