Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
