Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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