I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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