As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
