My balls are so social today.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I supernannyed him into submission
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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