That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
