i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
