I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
