Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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