Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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