Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize