a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
