I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
