Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
