you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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