he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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