Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
