Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
As shirtless as possible
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
