So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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