I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize