Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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