cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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