I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
