Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
