Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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