That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
