I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
