rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
