I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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