its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
