last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
