Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
