we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
