Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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